I am no longer a mug

Today; the 13th of January 2013 I am no longer a mug.  I will no longer have feet wiped on my face.  I will no longer be the person who is laughed at, for doing everything, for trying everything, when it was all pointless.

I am going NC - No Contact.  I don't want to here her name, I don't want to see anything of hers, I don't want anyone to tell me anything about her.  I'm doing this for me.  I need to 'fall out of love' with her.  And in order to do that I need no contact.

Unfortunately I will have things around me that will remind me for some time.  I read earlier on a break up forum that it's always easier for them to move on, since they're with new people, new furnishings, new location etc etc etc.  They don't have to sleep in the same bed, or look at the same sofa, or walk through the same front door.  It must be a whole lot easier for them.

I'm going to try to find things to fill my time, because every second that I'm not doing something I'm thinking about them together and it makes me sick.  It makes me sick to think he gets to see all the things only I saw, and do all the things only I did.  I can't see them staying together long anyway, not that it matters, at all.  She has too many flaws for a young man to deal with, they're immature as it is.  He also sounds controlling already - and doesn't trust her - and it's only been a few weeks.  Yes that's all I was worth was two weeks.  Took her a real long time didn't it.  I don't believe she even waited that long.  Someone on her Facebook asked her on the 8th - 3 days after she left, if she was 'shagging' him, she didn't say no either.  Just asked where he'd heard it.  I'd rather believe she didn't cheat on me.  That there was still some truth that came from her mouth.

I just feel like a total fool, who was taken for a ride, and who has probably been laughed at.  That hurts more than anything.  And I'll never forgive her for that.

This is the last post talking about her, or having anything to do with her.  I will not mention her again.  Not until 2 years down the line when I'm telling you all I'm filing for divorce!

Tomorrow will be a better day, as my mother said in the very early hours of this morning, you've hit rock bottom now, the only way is up.